In Deep
No, seriously, I’m still alive.
OK, so, I did finish law school. I even have a diploma to prove it. And lot’s of witnesses. And I’m not so much proud that I finished “cum laude” as I am that I finished 24th out of the 24 people in the class of 2007 who earned that designation. As one compassionate friend observed, that show’s that I’m efficient.
Graduation was nice, but I was kind of under the weather. Was great to have pretty much all my family there except for one sister who totally gets a pass, as my niece had a birthday party that same day. C’est la vie. My dear friend Amanda threw a stellar party the night before. Kudo’s Mander. KU-DOS.
Enjoyed a great weekend in Destin after graduation for a wife-oriented conference, i.e., lots of pharmaceutical reps and Ob/Gyns running around in sunscreen. Good times. And I found a fabulous brew shop. I have now been introduced to real trappist ales brewed by real Belgian monks. And I’m absolutely ruined. Chimay rocks. St. Bernadus is good. And Dogfish Head is the finest “US of A” brew available. Hands down. Went back for a quick trip to Destin this weekend. Photos are attached.
Now my life is almost entirely consumed with bar exam preparation. The Alabama Bar is set for July 23-25. Fifteen hours of testing over the course of three days. So, me and the suspiciously unanimous majority of my former classmates are all taking this commercial bar review course that teaches you all the stuff law students either (1) have forgotten since first year or (2) were never taught at all. This consists of three to four hours of lectures each morning followed by as much self study as each student can manage in the afternoon. Fortunately, I have a very supportive and coffee-shop-friendly study partner who tolerates my dreadful sense of humor and has as little desire to fail the bar as I do.
OK, so, I tried to tell Anne that I was taking this whole bar prep thing with a sense of stoicism. And she mocked me. I believe her comment was that “Mike, you’ve probably already had six things happen to you this morning you could rant about.” Fine. Fine. Ok, I can accept who I am. Why fight it. You want six rants?!?! NO!! Here’s ten!!!!!!
Top Ten Things I’m Gonna Rant About as a Means of Venting My Pent Up Bar Prep Angst
10. The Montgomery Advertiser. If they work any harder to bury the Op/Ed section of the paper, they’ll need to include a complimentary garden spade with each home delivery. “Hey, Montgomery! Are these pictures big enough for ya? Good. God forbid we force you to read.”9. The Alabama Bar. Ok. This question if for my non-law school friends: Which of the following facts, if shown to be true, would be MOST LIKELY to drive Mike insane:
A. The Alabama Bar Exam is held in a hotel convention room.
B. The last day of the three day Alabama Bar Exam counts for half of the exam.
C. Although students may not use a computer of any kind on the two days of essay exams administered as part of the Alabama Bar Exam, students are more than welcome to sign up for typing rooms, provided students provide their own TYPEWRITERS!!!!
D. Every ambulance chaser I’ve ever seen on any billboard in my home state has passed the Alabama Bar.
E. All of the above. Oh, and there is no choice “E” on the Multistate Bar Exam.
8. The Alabama State Senate. It’s not enough that those losers didn’t get around to voting on the Gourmet Beer Act, but did manage to vote themselves a 60% pay raise. It’s not enough that those losers almost blew a major steel mill deal with partisan politics. And it’s not enough that I have at least two state senators whose conduct was so inexcusably puerile that they would be on suspension if they were high school students instead of politicians. It’s going to be 3.5 years before we get to vote any of them out of office.
7. The weather. It’s hot. It’s dry. And it’s completely out of hand. I blame Al Gore.
6. Cindy Sheehan. Thank goodness the men and women defending my freedom have more stamina than those whining about the fact that they are.
5. Paris Hilton. This isn’t a rant, actually. See, I think she aught to have to serve her sentence. That’s no big deal. I’m just glad she is out there providing the vapid icing to the otherwise putrid cake that is the 24 hour news cycle.
4. Excessive Applause at Graduations. To paraphrase a great coach, when you receive that diploma, rejoice if your family doesn’t act like it’s the first time it’s ever happened to one of their own, nor that it is even much of a surprise.
3. Universal Health Care. Ok, for all those who give even a second thought to taking seriously the pandering promises of universal health care as promised by the current batch of presidential hopefuls, I have three letters for you to consider: DMV. That’s right. Just wait until your next pap-smear or prostate check is brought to you by the same compassionate folks who currently handle renewing your auto registration.
2. Designated Hitter. This isn’t a rant or even a hot topic so much as it is just a friendly reminder that the designated hitter rule is the sporting equivalent of high fructose corn syrup. I don’t care how sweet it seems, it still ain’t natural.
1. Chinese Restaurant Physics – Why is it that my Chinese restaurant can fit a gallon of house special fried rice in a one quart box using nothing but a common staple to hold it all together, but the average American family can’t fit a tennis racket and two kids in a vehicle any smaller than a Chevy Tahoe? Just curious.
OK, so, I did finish law school. I even have a diploma to prove it. And lot’s of witnesses. And I’m not so much proud that I finished “cum laude” as I am that I finished 24th out of the 24 people in the class of 2007 who earned that designation. As one compassionate friend observed, that show’s that I’m efficient.
Graduation was nice, but I was kind of under the weather. Was great to have pretty much all my family there except for one sister who totally gets a pass, as my niece had a birthday party that same day. C’est la vie. My dear friend Amanda threw a stellar party the night before. Kudo’s Mander. KU-DOS.
Enjoyed a great weekend in Destin after graduation for a wife-oriented conference, i.e., lots of pharmaceutical reps and Ob/Gyns running around in sunscreen. Good times. And I found a fabulous brew shop. I have now been introduced to real trappist ales brewed by real Belgian monks. And I’m absolutely ruined. Chimay rocks. St. Bernadus is good. And Dogfish Head is the finest “US of A” brew available. Hands down. Went back for a quick trip to Destin this weekend. Photos are attached.
Now my life is almost entirely consumed with bar exam preparation. The Alabama Bar is set for July 23-25. Fifteen hours of testing over the course of three days. So, me and the suspiciously unanimous majority of my former classmates are all taking this commercial bar review course that teaches you all the stuff law students either (1) have forgotten since first year or (2) were never taught at all. This consists of three to four hours of lectures each morning followed by as much self study as each student can manage in the afternoon. Fortunately, I have a very supportive and coffee-shop-friendly study partner who tolerates my dreadful sense of humor and has as little desire to fail the bar as I do.
OK, so, I tried to tell Anne that I was taking this whole bar prep thing with a sense of stoicism. And she mocked me. I believe her comment was that “Mike, you’ve probably already had six things happen to you this morning you could rant about.” Fine. Fine. Ok, I can accept who I am. Why fight it. You want six rants?!?! NO!! Here’s ten!!!!!!
Top Ten Things I’m Gonna Rant About as a Means of Venting My Pent Up Bar Prep Angst
10. The Montgomery Advertiser. If they work any harder to bury the Op/Ed section of the paper, they’ll need to include a complimentary garden spade with each home delivery. “Hey, Montgomery! Are these pictures big enough for ya? Good. God forbid we force you to read.”9. The Alabama Bar. Ok. This question if for my non-law school friends: Which of the following facts, if shown to be true, would be MOST LIKELY to drive Mike insane:
A. The Alabama Bar Exam is held in a hotel convention room.
B. The last day of the three day Alabama Bar Exam counts for half of the exam.
C. Although students may not use a computer of any kind on the two days of essay exams administered as part of the Alabama Bar Exam, students are more than welcome to sign up for typing rooms, provided students provide their own TYPEWRITERS!!!!
D. Every ambulance chaser I’ve ever seen on any billboard in my home state has passed the Alabama Bar.
E. All of the above. Oh, and there is no choice “E” on the Multistate Bar Exam.
8. The Alabama State Senate. It’s not enough that those losers didn’t get around to voting on the Gourmet Beer Act, but did manage to vote themselves a 60% pay raise. It’s not enough that those losers almost blew a major steel mill deal with partisan politics. And it’s not enough that I have at least two state senators whose conduct was so inexcusably puerile that they would be on suspension if they were high school students instead of politicians. It’s going to be 3.5 years before we get to vote any of them out of office.
7. The weather. It’s hot. It’s dry. And it’s completely out of hand. I blame Al Gore.
6. Cindy Sheehan. Thank goodness the men and women defending my freedom have more stamina than those whining about the fact that they are.
5. Paris Hilton. This isn’t a rant, actually. See, I think she aught to have to serve her sentence. That’s no big deal. I’m just glad she is out there providing the vapid icing to the otherwise putrid cake that is the 24 hour news cycle.
4. Excessive Applause at Graduations. To paraphrase a great coach, when you receive that diploma, rejoice if your family doesn’t act like it’s the first time it’s ever happened to one of their own, nor that it is even much of a surprise.
3. Universal Health Care. Ok, for all those who give even a second thought to taking seriously the pandering promises of universal health care as promised by the current batch of presidential hopefuls, I have three letters for you to consider: DMV. That’s right. Just wait until your next pap-smear or prostate check is brought to you by the same compassionate folks who currently handle renewing your auto registration.
2. Designated Hitter. This isn’t a rant or even a hot topic so much as it is just a friendly reminder that the designated hitter rule is the sporting equivalent of high fructose corn syrup. I don’t care how sweet it seems, it still ain’t natural.
1. Chinese Restaurant Physics – Why is it that my Chinese restaurant can fit a gallon of house special fried rice in a one quart box using nothing but a common staple to hold it all together, but the average American family can’t fit a tennis racket and two kids in a vehicle any smaller than a Chevy Tahoe? Just curious.
posted by graysandpeas | 9:10 PM
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