Go Bless Yourself!

OK, occasionally, you need a good rant. Here’s mine. Unless you’re one of those weirdoes who thinks it’s hip to “live off the grid” (and you aren’t, given the fact you are reading this online), you may have had interaction with a customer service professional (read: cashier) who thinks it’s nice or spiritual or vaguely evangelistic to say the following upon your departure: “Have a blessed day!” Now, I’m not opposed to being blessed. In fact, I could really go for a good blessing. Bring on the blessings! And if said blessing should last the whole day, all the better. But, what good does it do to tell ME to have a blessed day? Do they think I have a vote on whether or not I’d be blessed? What? Like I’m sitting around with God constantly pestering me saying,
“Hey, Mike, want me to bless you today?”
“NO! Not today.”
“Oh, come now, my child. Let me bless you just a little.”
“If it’s all the same to you, God, this isn’t really a good time. There’s a cashier I’m trying to annoy by running about all day devoid of blessing. Earlier, I wouldn’t have minded being blessed, but I can’t take this pressure. It’s petty, but that’s how I get my jollies.”
“Well, if you change your mind, there’s this one particular blessing I’ve been working on for a few millennia I’ve been wanting to try out. Let Me know and I’d be glad to bless you.”
“Oh, heavens, no!”
SERIOUSLY! Who is this gonna help? If I’m already being blessed, this is a wasted greeting. If I’m not currently being blessed, this greeting will do little more than remind me that I’m NOT being blessed and make me feel like crap because I didn’t manage to twist God’s arm into blessing me! And if I’m not spiritually inclined, I’m annoyed. And if I am spiritually inclined, I’m probably already doing all I can to invite blessings and don’t need to be reminded of this at Arby’s. Or the cleaners. Or Office Depot. Or after holding for 45 minutes for tech support. I don’t think my blog is frequented by waiters, cashiers, or tech support types, but if you are one, please note: Not that it’s any of your business, but rest assured: I’m richly blessed. Relax. Go back to work. Sheesh.