No, seriously, what would he brew?

Happy Reformation Day! OK, for all the non-seminary types, today marks the day that Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses on the door of the church at Wittenberg. If you’re unfamiliar with the story, you can do a reasonably good catch-up on your Luther history by renting the movie “Luther” without the expense of a seminary degree or the drudgery of actually reading a book. Surprisingly, it’s a pretty good flick, and if that’s not enough for you, he eventually marries a nun. Now admit it: there’s nothing as hot as a lapsed monk getting down with a lapsed nun. No? Ok, suit yourself.

I was surfing my old files the other day and found the song I wrote that is the inspiration for the name of my blog: What Would Jesus Brew? This song grew out of an unusual time in my life. Just before coming to law school, I was a shift supervisor at Starbucks by day and an adjunct Religion professor at Marshall University by night. About the time that Mel released “The Passion of the Christ,” the spirit moved, and I penned the following. Catch me with my six string some time and I’ll play it for you.

“What Would Jesus Brew?”

My head is so heavy the hour is getting late
But I procrastinated and the exam’s at eight.
Lord, it don’t look like I’ll get any sleep tonight,
And keeping my eyes on the page is such a fight.
Lord I know you once had to stay up way past two ,
And so I ask you humbly . . . What would Jesus brew?

CHORUS:
What would Jesus brew?
Staying up with me and you?
Enough to serve 5000
Or just a cup or two
Would it be espresso roast,
I need the Holy Ghost to tell me:
What would Jesus Brew?


I hope the Lord won’t think that my request is sacrilegious,
But I need a coffee even the Son of God would call delicious .
Everybody needs a savior and it looks like I’ll need two:
I need Jesus to be my Lord, and coffee to be my brew.
My stubborn ways have entrapped me in a night that just won’t end,
But I still need to know if the Lord would approve of Breakfast Blend.

The Good News is that the Bad News Isn't New

Right, so, it’s been a rough week. I mean, dude, I don’t even know if this is like a positive thing or not. So, let’s weigh it in!

Top 10 Positive Things From Mike’s Week
10. I got to totally make an @$$ of myself in Decedents class. I just can’t stand it when my classmates stand by and act like none of their cute little 20-something @$$es is ever gonna be faced with a feeding tube. Bunch of p^$$ies.
9. Me and my mediation partner didn’t get eliminated in the first round of competition this week.
8. It’s official: my mid-life-crisis sports car gets 25 miles to the gallon.
7. NEW SOUTH PARK EPISODE CAME OUT THIS WEEK!
6. Steven Colbert got his own show this week!
5. Harriet Miers!
4. I launched a new blog this week, which has positive, redeeming qualities.
3. I just added the word “blog” to my spell check dictionary.
2. I may have uttered the following phrase in class today: “Butters has more rights than Kim.”
1. Jesus Saves!

Top 10 Negative Things From Mike’s Week
10. Is it just me, or is the Republican party incapable of putting a genocidal maniac on trial for war crimes and still managing to look in control in the same week?
9. Me and my mediation partner got eliminated in the second round of competition this week.
8. 25 MPG doesn’t seem quite so sweet when your sports car runs on 93 octane.
7. I could have written the new South Park episode this week. I mean, we all know global warming, if not a myth, is not gonna over take my bloated generation during our lifetimes. Right? Right?
6. Steven Colbert got his own show this week!
5. Harriet Miers!
4. My new blog got two comments this week. I wrote one of them.
3. I just added the word “blog” to my spell check dictionary.
2. I may have witnessed the following tonight: Butters is licking the floor in an effort to ingest enough dust to cause herself to puke, which I’ll still have to clean up. Dammit.
1. Good thing that Jesus Saves! Turns out that Mike loses!

Job 10:4

Last year I participated (irregularly) in a home bible study with a small group of law students. It went well, but ultimately, we succumbed to the inevitable scheduling demands of, well, the very thing that had brought us together: law school. After a couple of stalled attempts to schedule a new group this year, I have decided that scheduling is just not feasible. However, I can always find time for a good blog! Oh, shoot, give me five free minutes and a high speed internet hook-up and I’m off, baby!

So, below is the address for a new blog-based bible study I’ll be moderating. Although I have done this primarily with a handful of dear friends at Cumberland in mind, for the time being, I’m open to this not being a “private” undertaking. We’ll see how that goes. I envision best case scenario being a lively discussion in the “comments” area, possibly spilling over into informal real world meetings, preferably involving some type of fellowship, worship, or service activity. I envision a discussion which is not bound by traditional parameters of the Sunday School time/space/dress-clothing/decorum expectations. But, hey, like I said, we’ll see what happens.

The blog is named “Job 10:4.” It can be found at www.job104.blogspot.com. But please be advised, I do not claim Job 10:4 as my “life verse.” Nope. That honor is already claimed by Galatians 5:12, preferably in modern translation.

I anticipate a launch date of Sunday, October 16, 2005, with posts appearing (hopefully) weekly unless or until I am able to either produce more often or others in the “group” offer to contribute to the production of study material. I’m starting out with an erratic walk through Mark, but that may evolve or go on hiatus as necessary.

My normal vitriolic rants will continue to post on “What Would Jesus Brew,” but all bible study content will be channeled through Job 4:10. MmmKay?

Cold. Hearted.

So, earlier this year, I posted a blog kvetching about how hot the Alabama summers are. I whined about my love of air conditioning. I may have even pined pathetically for love, a window unit, and freezer treats. Little did I know that whilst I was busy bitching, the “remodeling” they were doing at my law school back in B’ham was primarily intended to turn Robinson Hall into one great legal meat locker! And brother, they were showing off today!
Now, when I say that I can sweat underwater, I’m not kidding: I’ve experimented. But today, I achieved Nirvana (not the 90’s alternative rock band, but the metaphysical state of euphoric non-being that I don’t actually believe in). In class today, I got kind of chilly! No, seriously! I was downright uncomfortably cold in class today, and I couldn’t be happier about it! You know that thing where rich women pay lots of money to sit in oppressively hot rooms in spas even though no one has a gun to their head? OK, that was kind of what I got to experience today. Except that the room was oppressively frigid instead of hot. We still paid ridiculous amounts of money to be there, and no one had a gun to their head. And no one was wearing only a towel. On second thought, maybe it wasn’t Nirvana after all. But seriously, it was cold, and I did like it.