Nine Lives, and One Fake One
Top Nine Weird Events From My Life I Use to Keep Conversations Going, and One That I Just Made Up Even Though It Isn’t True:
10. I went to seminary with a guy who was Axel Rose’s personal assistant.
9. I have been swimming in the pool of a sunken cruise ship, 136 feet under water.
8. I have looked into the crater of three different volcanoes, only one of which was dormant.
7. I have played basketball in an outdoor swimming pool while it was snowing in the middle of Colorado.
6. I have been allergic to egg-plant, camel hair jackets, and colas (Coke, Pepsi, RC, etc.) since I was a child, which made going to Italian restaurants, men’s shops, and birthday parties really awkward.
5. I spent the summer after my senior year of high school as a roadie for Michael W. Smith.
4. I once danced with street children in the middle of the night in the town square of Carazo, Nicaragua.
3. I saw Guns and Roses live when they were still an opening act.
2. I went to high school with Terrell Owens, and have absolutely no recollection whatsoever of having seen him play football.
1. I was a late night disc jockey at a light rock radio station which targeted women between the ages of 25 and 49, many of whom would call to flirt with me while wallowing drunkenly in their man-free existence.
10. I went to seminary with a guy who was Axel Rose’s personal assistant.
9. I have been swimming in the pool of a sunken cruise ship, 136 feet under water.
8. I have looked into the crater of three different volcanoes, only one of which was dormant.
7. I have played basketball in an outdoor swimming pool while it was snowing in the middle of Colorado.
6. I have been allergic to egg-plant, camel hair jackets, and colas (Coke, Pepsi, RC, etc.) since I was a child, which made going to Italian restaurants, men’s shops, and birthday parties really awkward.
5. I spent the summer after my senior year of high school as a roadie for Michael W. Smith.
4. I once danced with street children in the middle of the night in the town square of Carazo, Nicaragua.
3. I saw Guns and Roses live when they were still an opening act.
2. I went to high school with Terrell Owens, and have absolutely no recollection whatsoever of having seen him play football.
1. I was a late night disc jockey at a light rock radio station which targeted women between the ages of 25 and 49, many of whom would call to flirt with me while wallowing drunkenly in their man-free existence.
posted by graysandpeas | 9:29 PM
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